the golden years, can't wait for them

i was doing a new patient assessment. it went like this:

myself and the company marketer walk into this old little apt. This 97 year old man, and probably about 97 lbs, was sitting alone on a moldy sofa.

me "Hello Fred (name changed), my name is Shanna, how are you doing?"

fred "I know what you're thinking (yelling in an old crackly voice). And NO I don't have dementia."

Great introduction. And he was just getting started.....

We did a short assessment, and out of the blue he turned his head towards me and locked his gaze.

fred "Why?" "WHY??"he shouted (the marketer asked "why what?") "Why?" he said again. He didn't take his foggy cataract eyes off me for a second. The war was on.

me Staring right back at him, in a firm voice, "Because" he blinked, processing my response. Then his lips raised to show a toothless smile and he started laughing.

fred: "Have you ever heard the Golden years poem?"

me "no"

fred: not waiting for an invitation started in, by memory,

(some words have been changed.. so if it doesn't make sense sorry...)

" The Golden Years, my golden years have come at last, I cannot see, I cannot pee, I cannot chew, Oh My what can I do? My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell I look like heck! My mood is bad - can you tell? My body's drooping, Have trouble pooping The Golden Years has come at last ,The Golden Years can kiss my but."

i LOVE my job.

aLL we can DO.

we all are nothing but victims of fate. tossed and frown upon the winds of uncertainness. heaved to the tidal waves of bleak unknown. Riding a wave, without really knowing what we are riding. Where we are going. It could collapse at any second.

Questions pulse through the mind...What will happen. If I do fall, where will I fall to. If I don't fall where will this wave take me to. Can I change where I'm going. Do I want to. How do I get where I want to go. Where do I want to go. They go on...& on.

What then? All we can do is keep breathing. Keep riding. Adapt our instincts to where it takes us. We must LIVE 4 today. Does happiness depend on an event. a stage we reach in life. a number we see in our account. Events may or may never happen. The sun might. or might not. come out. You might buy any ice cream cone just to have it robbed at your first taste, by gravity. So why go on? There is no insurance company that can cover you from tosses of fate.. BUT. U choose how to ride the wave. You may not know where you're going. But WE DO choose HOW we go there.

A famous survivor of the concentration camps Viktor Frankl once said:

"We have come to know man as he really is. After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips."

man were created equal in the beginning, just somehow we all have ended up with different things on our plate. the REAl ? is: how will we ride the wave. what words will be on our lips as we walk into the chambers. it's not where we go. it's how we go there. .

waiting on the road to Damascus.

"Often, the answer to our prayer does not come while we’re on our knees but while we’re on our feet serving the Lord and serving those around us. Selfless acts of service and consecration refine our spirits, remove the scales from our spiritual eyes, and open the windows of heaven. By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer, we often find the answer to our own....dear friends, let us not wait too long on our road to Damascus. Instead, let us courageously move forward in faith, hope, and charity, and we will be blessed with the light we are all seeking upon the path of true discipleship."

DIETER F. UCHTDORF

http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/waiting-on-the-road-to-damascus?lang=eng&query=road

Shanna gets home this Wednesday evening and she will be reporting her mission Feb. 13 at 9 am. Our church is on E. River Road (3370 N. 500 W.) in Idaho Falls. Please call if you have questions: 525-9311

Hola familia!!!
I cannot believe it's my last email!! It snuck up on me so fast. I got a letter from Suzy!! and from my cousin Michael! Thanks that was fun! Please forgive there is no time to write back. I will just drop you a call in like 3 days haha.
I am filled with such mixed feelings I'm sure only a missionary could understand. There is happiness to finally see family and friends after so long, but thinking of leaving these people who have become so dear to me, who have taken and will forever hold a piece of who I am really saddens me. These people have changed me. They have taken me in and made me into family. I've served them, I've listened to their life stories, I've taught them the gospel and seen the changes it's made in their lives, I've laughed with them, cried with them (and heaven knows I've eaten with them!). I have rejoiced with them watching the answer to many prayers come to pass as the first temple in this country has been under construction. As I have looked into their eyes, I have felt the love that our Heavenly Father feels for his dear children in El Salvador, and I too have been filled with that same love.

I have attempted to look to the future and be happy knowing that I have fulfilled my mission here in this little country....but there is an unmistakable pain that sinks deeply.

But as the sun sets, that is normal I suppose. The closing of one chapter so remarkable in life comes with resistance and unfortunately pain. But I know the sun rises again, casting out the darkening shadows of a sad lonely night. There are new chapters yet to be written.

May each of us go forth heeding Alma's counsel to his son "look to God, and live" (Alma 37:47). There are beautiful horizons ahead, and many more mountains just waiting for us to move them! One step at a time we climb until we have moved them beneath us. Always Remembering. Always holding with us, those dear people who have changed us and made us become what we were foreordained to be. Holding with us the scars of painful times that bought us to our knees in counsel with the most high. May we not be afraid for whatever lies ahead, for the Lord God is with us.

Thank You. You all have been my support. I am reminded of the story of Moses, when there is a battle between Joshua and Amalek as Moses holds up his arms Joshua and the Israelites win, but when he puts them down Amalek begins to beat them. So Moses holds up his arms, but Aaron and Hur uphold Moses’ hands so that Joshua prevails against Amalek.

Exodus 17 "And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands awere heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur bstayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun."
I like the part that says Moses hands became heavy. He could not bear them anymore, I love what his brother does- Aaron and Hur then hold up Moses arms for him. My dear friends and family, you have done this for me. I have felt many times when I could no longer hold up my arms. The stress and weight of everything caused my arms to become heavy. You all have held up my arms. Through your prayers. through your letters, how to thank you all? I cannot. Just know that my heart is filled with an immeasurable amount of gratitude for what you all have done.
May God bless you as He has for me. I love you and thank you for your goodness. I know that God lives. Jesus is the Christ and the Messiah of the world. The gospel has been restored in its fullness through a young prophet Joseph Smith. The truths of eternal life and salvation are within the pages of the sacred Book of Mormon and Bible.
Our God reigneth!! HOOARAW FOR ISRAEL....
Hermana Shanna Tavenner

see you all at the tree!!

or airport.........

Hey FAMILIA Y AMIGOS

How are you all doing? Thanks for the letters!! Jessica Woods (we are SO fast writing!! joy.), a letter to the Weights that I sent that got returned to me (that counts as a letter right?) and my mother dear. Ok so with troubles finding postal services as well as how long it takes to get there I'm sorry but I don't have time to write letters before I go. I fly back to the states Feb.2. That is too soon....

This week has been crazy with nursing. Everyone decided to get sick, and we received calls like crazy. One missionary got stung by a scorpion (a really dangerous huge insect here) we were pretty nervous because people have died from that and we didn't know what to do for him. He asked for a health blessing. After receiving the blessing the part where he received the sting was completely uninflamed and showed no trace of a sting. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood! I know that the Lord is mindful of us and that miracles have not ceased! I have seen them time and time again here. As we place our trust in him and move forward they are there. They do not always come how we want, or how we ask but God, just as a loving parent, sometimes says no for our good. His thoughts are not our thoughts neither are his ways our ways, but as we willingly accept his will then can he touch our lives and make of us so much more.

The Church...so true.
Joseph Smith....prophet called of God
Jesus Christ...the Savior and Redeemer of us all
I am SO grateful for the blessings of the restored gospel in my life. I pray that all of you too have been blessed with the tender mercies of God and can see his hand extended in your lives.

LOVE ya!!! HOORAW for Israel!

Sister Tavenner

Hey Fam..

This week you all gave me the haul.
Got a letter from NickI (you are blowing me away, you are better at
writing than my own fam) from Josephsons (awesome package, you know I
put those earrings in that same day, and have worn them EVERY day
since. And the chocolate……joy) ok and pictures and cute snowman
letters sent by my mother, wait for it…….card from Grandma….I open it
and a movie of christmas dogs started playing with barking. OK I
cannot even describe the happiness that filled my soul. I open it like
5 times a day, just to feel happy. Gracias :)

Ok this week was nothing short of amazing. We have been teaching a
sweet little old woman named Gloria for so long. She feeds us on
average 4 times a week (usually good food, but we did have a soup
made of cow stomach and nerves and intestines that I really had to
choke down). We truly are her adopted granddaughters. She comes to
church every week, but never had the desire to be baptized. It was
really hard for us, because we care about her a lot, and to think of
the blessings that God has for those who keep the commandments, not to
mention that the baptism is the door to eternal life. It was hard
for us that she could not receive those blessings. Well we passed by
Wednesday with the zone leaders to give her a blessing; she's been
sick lately. We talked a little about the healing power of Christ and
the importance of having faith in him. Then out of no where she said
"Hermana Tavenner,I want to be baptized. I want to before you go home"
I was blown away, I said " this Saturday?" and she said "Ok".

Her baptism was so awesome. Her son, Oscar, is a convert of mine. He
shared his testimony about how the gospel has changed his life, and
how finally the person most special to him in the world would finally
as well have those blessings in her life.

Sorry long story short, it was a day I will never forget. El Salvador
is the best. Saturday I was washing my clothes outside in our cement
sink slab thinking, I love this place! I have learned so much from
these people. We can learn so much from others as we live like them.


HOORAH 4 Israel
Hna TAV

January 10, 2011
Hola Familia,

How was the week in the snow and ice? Did I hear grandpa fell off his bike on the ice? He´s a trooper!! How many 80 year old men do you know hitting the icy roads at 6 in the morning.... YES that´s MY GRANDPA.

Thanks for the letters! I received one from Aunt Lorna. You guys are such the BEST. I am going to try and get a letter to you before I go, but I might get home before the letter...

So this week was great. About two weeks ago the Elders in the office came to our area to help us look for people to teach. They found a really great reference. We passed by him and set up an apt. So this week we headed for the apt when my comp asked which of the million of tiny apts it was.... I fumbled through my bag for a long time. Me. flake. Lost the directions. We knocked doors for about 20 minutes but no one knew who the person was. I said a silent prayer that somehow we could find where this man lived. I had the thought to call the Elders. My comp said it was crazy they had been here over 2 weeks ago and would not be able to help us. But I called them. The Elder described to me exactly what the house looked like and where to find it. We found it! Then we started teaching him. His name is Rafael, he has one son and his wife live there. We didn´t have much time but just taught about the apostasy. How after the death of the Savior the truth and power of God was taken from the earth. We planned on teaching about the Restoration the next lesson. As we started wrapping up the lesson he became agitated. "What happens next? God wouldn't just leave us without the truth right?" He caught me a little off guard, but excitedly we shared our testimonies that no God would not leave us like that, that two hundred years ago the heavens opened once more. It was a neat experience. I like to see that despite my weaknesses the work of the Lord continues.

These people are so humble. They could have nothing to feed their family but when we come to their home to share with them a message they sacrifice to give us a dirty cup of rice milk. (Yes this is maybe why I´ve turned into such the little fatty here ok, it´s my love for the people....) Love the work. Love the rice. Love the dirt streets. Love the bugs that seem to love me. Love my mother.

HOORAW FOR ISRAELLLLLL.
Hna Tavenner

FYI: Shanna will be home February 2 and will report her mission on February 13 at 9 am. We had a great time talking to her on Christmas Day and she hadn't told us until then when she would be coming home!!!


Hola familia, como estado todos?? I am missing you all a lot today! I don't have a whole lot of time to write. But thanks for the letters Grandma and Grandpa Skidmore. And also NICKI!! You guys +icecream=bestdayever.....

So we had a crazy New Year. The people here just lite off fireworks (that are more like bags of gun powder they just start on fire) from 9pm until 1am. So we didn't sleep a whole lot. It was a little harder as well to teach people, no one had time to receive us. But we visited the members and then on New Years Day we went over to the assistants house and helped them move houses. Talk about privileges. OK washing machine. Microwave. Three Bathrooms. My house......Cement slab to wash clothes. Little plug in heater thing to heat up food. Bug infested bathroom.

We are teaching this man Joaquin; he is a professional basketball trainer. He says that he has never been interested in receiving gospel studies, but says he really feels something different with us. We are also teaching three families right now. There is something so special about teaching families. I really like it better. The gospel is here for the family. How great is the plan of salvation! The Lord has something so much greater than this place prepared for us. This was my last fast and testimony meeting of my mission. (I think.....) It was really a weird feeling. I got up in front of the congregation and just stood there a second in silence. I touched my name tag and felt a terrible sadness. To leave something I've grown to love so much is really hard. I feel like I am watching one of those sand time keepers. As it gets near the end, the sand starts to fall faster and faster. I want so desperately to stop it but don't know how. How can I leave the family I have here? It's different because I doubt this family I will see again in this life. The Lord has a purpose in all things. Sometimes we have to go where he leads us, even when it's not where we want to go.


LOVE YOU SO mUCHO FAMILYYYY> HOORAW FOR ISRAEL.